Wednesday, April 25, 2007

What does God expect from me as a Wife?

I have really been thinking about a comment that Jim at JIM'S LITTLE BLOG: I have "Sevens on Sixes," what do you have? left regarding the "Email of the year".

Living for the simple things in life: E-mail of The Year

Jim said,

"This is a good one for the women! But are you sure there actually are any women like this?"

It really got me thinking this week, just what kind of a wife am I? What does the Bible say about being a Godly wife and marriage partner. I thought I'd better disciple myself and see how I can grow in this area.

This is just a few things that I am responsible for as a wife:

I believe my role as A wife is very significant. I can be a tremendous help to my husband if I obey what the Word of God has to say about wives. I can offer wisdom, insight and understanding to a situation. I need to be my husband's companion, supporter and admirer.

For my husband to feel successful as a man, I must respect him.

I believe I am to be his companion.

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames (him) is as rottenness in his bones." Pro 12:4

We as Wives, have the power to build and support our husband's. I also have the power to shame and belittle him. To support means much more to my husband than I realize. I can make my man or I can break him.

What does the Bible say about withholding physical intimacy from my husband?

2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

34 . . . she who is married cares about the things of the world -- how she may please her husband.

Withholding physical intimacy from my husband as a way of punishment or revenge is wrong. God desires for me to be a giver as His representative -- and overcome evil with good.

God expects me to treat my husband as Christ would treat my husband.

Colossians 3:12-17 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

God expects me to treat my husband as Christ would treat my husband. I want to learn to be abetter Christ-like example in my home. I want to treat my husband better then I would treat a brother or sister in the Lord. With this kind of relationship I will love my husband as God commands me to.

What does God say about being a Godly wife?

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:33 ... and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Titus 2:4-5 That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

I Peter 3:1-2 Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

What does the Bible say about Marriage?

Matthew 19:4-6 And [Jesus] answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

God expects and commands that when two people marry that they should no longer be controlled by their parents. When a man and woman marry they are to remain together till God separates them by death. They are to forsake all others and remain sexually faithful to each other.

Marriage was established by God on the sixth day of Creation. (Genesis 1 & 2.) The woman was created from the man and for the man. The woman was the first to sin (disobey God's command). Because of these things, to the woman [God] said, in Genesis 3:16, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."

I Corinthians 11:8-9 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.

I Corinthians 11:11-12 Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as the woman was from the man, even so the man also is through the woman; but all things are from God.

We are to be companions, not competitors.

God designed both husbands and wives for equality and submission. (Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.) The moral, intellectual, and spiritual capabilities of men and women are equal. We are of equal value in God's sight. Jesus died for both the husband and his wife. We are equal in our ability to develop a relationship with God.

The Bible is clear about what God expects and commands about how wives are to treat their husbands and how husbands are to treat their wives.

Women are different than men. I will never be able to change my husband into being and thinking just like me. Criticizing, nagging, and lecturing will not help.

One of the most helpful things I need to practice in my marriage is to "not returning evil for evil" (1 Peter 3:9). Things are going to happen or be said that will offend me or hurt me. When that happens, I have a choice: do I lash back and hurt him, or, do I walk in love. I need to respond in a loving manner. I need to trust God to direct my husband if necessary. If I have a problem, I need to learn to turn to my husband, without nagging him.

Thank you Jim for causing me to dig into God's word.


dot said...

Thanks for a beautiful post! It's a shame more women don't live by those verses(myself included).

Neva said...

A great post---great reminders. I want to be a better bride for my earthly mate so I can be a better bride for my heavenly Bridegroom


Kristy said...

AMEN !!!!!!!!!!
Our lives are a series of choices, aren't they?
Do we choose to show fruit in our response to our men? (patience, kindness, etc.....) or how the enemy would have us respond....don't even need to give examples here, do I?
It's a choice.

When we step aside and let our men be what God has called them to be (and not try to be their holy spirit any longer!) it's AMAZING what happens!
It took me years to figure that out, and now that I'm living it...........
Thank you Lori, for this wonderful post!!!

ps.Can you tell this is a passionate subject of mine?? ;o)
Bless you ~

Live, Love, Laugh said...

Amen and amen, wonderful post!

Jim said...

Thanks, Lori, for the mention. I was teasing a little in the comment I left. Of course it might have true a skosh also.

Thanks too, for this nice study. God, as told in the Bible, takes very seriously the relationship between husband and wife.

I don't think God intends for the unloving couple, even when married to have sex. I believe He intends for them to fix the love problem and then resume. People don't always fix the problem, we know. Then, ???.

There is more. Ephesians 5 goes on in verse 25 to put an even heavier requirement of love for his wife on the husband:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

And 1 Peter 3 in verse 7 says, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

- - - - - -

A little lighter:
1 CORINTHIANS 7:4 [And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does] gives Mrs. Jim authority to help me with my weight problems and for the clothes I wear.
Or does it?

lori said...

dot, Neva, Kristy, Jim and live, love and laughter,

Thank you for your support and please keep praying for me as I try, with the Lord's help to become the wife my husband deserves.

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