Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The next story of my life

The next story fits right along with the rest. You know me up until I was 13. This is the summer I turned 13. I already told you my dad moved to Texas this summer, also my Grandma died she is the glue that held our families together. I missed her so much; her and my grandpa would take us up north each summer for a month. It was a great time to get away from all the mess. This is also the summer I meant Kurt (BC's father)

I really wasn’t into boys yet. Kurt was new in town he lived around the corner from us. My sister would be talking on the phone to her boyfriend and I was the only one left to talk to. So we talked a lot. I don’t know how it happened but we became an item. Why a 17 year old would want to date a 13 year old is beyond me. Well not really after you hear the rest of the story. I wasn’t allowed really to go out with him in his car but my mom allowed us to go together to his house. My mom always made sure that his mom was going to be home. What she didn’t know was his mom let us spent time alone in his room together.

I really didn’t know anything about sex at that time but BC's father let me know if I didn’t do that we wouldn’t be together. I couldn’t lose him as well as losing my dad and grandma. So guess what, I got pregnant a year later. I was going into my 9th grade year of school. It was awful!!! He wanted me to run away, so I pack what I thought was important (My underclothes) and meant him at our meeting place.

This is what can happen when young people are left alone. The hormones are just too strong to resist. This is why, we as parents should know where our children are.

I couldn’t leave; something in me just couldn’t do it. We were suppose to go to Tennessee that’s were he was from. His momma said girls were old maids if they didn’t marry before 16. Well I couldn’t leave. So we faced my mom, she made us not see each other (which was the right thing to do) I was going to get an abortion but mom talked to a Pastor she new and he said I needed to keep the baby. I praise God for that wise council. We didn’t go to church or anything but mom at least had the since to seek good advice.

After a while Kurt and I snuck around to see each other. I don’t know why he would of he was going to leave anyway. I guess because it was the right thing to do.

Time went on and when I was 7 month pregnant he stop coming around, stopped calling, stopped picking me up for school.

I talked to his brother and he told me he was seeing someone else. Kurt did get around to telling me. He picked me up from school on day and told me at my door that it was over. He said I had a wonderful smile and if I smiled a lot I would find someone else.

Time went by and I found out from all these girls that he was seeing them the whole time he was seeing me. How stupid I was to think I was the one and only. I was young and didn’t know any better.

To get help from the State I had to tell them who the father was (I could of said I didn’t know but I had to much pride to do that) they prosecuted him and he denied that BC was his. We had to get blood test taken. How awful this was. Ninth grade girls should not have to go through this. I should not have sleep with him it was my fault. Anyway the test proved to be his. The prosecuting attorney didn’t want Kurt or his family to see BC. The guy said Kurt was a punk and it would be bad for BC. Do remember he was only 17.

I saw Kurt off and on through school. I was very thankful to my mom for watching BC so I could finish school. I also worked after school so I could support him and my mom was very good about keeping him.

(Thanks goes to my mom for this)

The week before I got married Kurt came to my work and asked me to please have coffee with him. He wanted to try and work things out. I just couldn’t go back with him. Plus, I was very in love with JW at this time. I am very glad I married my husband.

BC's father didn’t want to pay child support so he came back into the picture when Bret graduated. We were very young, Kurt sees my son now; I am fine with it, God has really worked in my heart with this. I am at the point in my life I can now pray for him. This is what we are called to do.

This is the end of a very long story.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMGosh you were just a baby! I have a 9th grade girl, and it breaks my heart to hear of someone her age going through that. Still, I know all about teenage parenting, as I was 17 when it happened to me. Not much older but I did know better.

Thanks for sharing your story Lori, God has blessed you!

Linda said...

Lori, my heart hurts for the little girl who suffered such pain. But it is a wonderful story of love and grace to know that God has watched over you all this time and brought you to the place you are now. I am so glad He did and so sorry for all the hurt of your past.

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

This is a very lovely story and a great moral lesson to learn.
Thanks for passing by.

Morning Glory said...

This was a very touching story and I'm glad you've come to a happier place in your life. Thank you for sharing such honesty.

e-Mom said...

I now have a better sense of your life, and how you've arrived where you are now. Was BC the oldest son who went into the Navy? Perhaps your grief was acute then because you were also grieving your earlier losses from your teens... your Dad, grandma, getting pregnant out of wedlock etc. I'm so glad you know the Lord intimately, and understand his care for you. That's a lot of losses for a young person to bear. I understand.

jel said...

God Bless you Lori,


and thank you for sharing your life with us!


huggs

Annie said...

There are a lot of stories like that out there. Thanks for telling yours. It helps us all have more empathy for young girls who need love and kindness, reminding us to offer it in healthy ways to those we see who are young and vulnerable.

lori said...

Connie,

I really hate telling this story. I guess I really don't know any of you so it makes it a litte easier. I have really only shared this story with one person besides my family. It is not important for me to share my life with people. I want them to like me for who I am. This blog gives a detailed journal of my life. After I am gone this is something my children can look back on and read. I want them to know about their mom.

lori said...

linda,

I can only say watch your young children. When girls are already going through a rough situation and they think they hold on to the little bit of love that they are receiving at the time things like this happens. Sad, but this is what happened to me.

lori said...

FRIDAY'S CHILD

Thank you for your comment. I guess if it helps one person it was worth me sharing it.

lori said...

Morning Glory

I am at a happy place in my life now. God has wiped away all of those past sins.

lori said...

e-Mom

I know you have been reading my blog for a while. I wrote this story to fill in the blanks. How a woman can be 43, married 20 years, have 3 grandchildren? Numbers don't add up.
Yes, BC is my oldest son that went into the Navy. He was my baby through and through. If it were not for my mom, I really don't know how I survived those years.

God has changed my life. I have a comfort and Him that I could never get from anyone. What He sacrificed for us on the tree says it all.

lori said...

Jel,

Thank you for your comment and for reading my blog.

lori said...

Annie

That is so sad to hear that there are a lot of stories like mine. Young girls are, like you say vulnerable to the need to be loved. Thank you for sharing your comment. Maybe it will help us all pay more attention.

greenspot said...

so kind of you to let your son having a relationship with person who has done something not good to you.

does your son know the story? is he accept Kurt in his life? how are things work between them?

lori said...

greenspot,

Yes, my son knows the whole story. His dad in the same town we live in. He does see him as often as he sees me, but they do have a relationship.