Sunday, September 07, 2008

Keeping the Romance Alive!

It's Marriage Monday; C h r y s a l i s is the host of Marriage Monday. Don't forget to click over and see what other christian women have to say on this subject!
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My husband's big saying is "Don't they say romance always starts in the kitchen". This is where we spend most of our time. Cooking together and talking while we cook, seems to keep that spark going. Oh, I might get a kiss on the back of my neck as he passes by to get something out of the refrigerator. The mood just seems to carry us through the evening. I love that our children see us enjoying one another. It has kept the "SPICE" in our marriage for over 22 years. Hee, Hee

We don't go on a lot of dates. We still have 3 children at home that takes up much of our time. What we do is; each Saturday morning we set aside time to run errands together. We go to Whole foods, or Krogers, the bank and sometimes even out to lunch...You get the point. We just make sure we set this time aside for one another. I have to say, it really is a time that I have come to look forward to. We normally let the kids sleep-in and it is just the hubby and I.

I think another part to keeping your marriage alive is giving up those little things that don't really matter. Sometimes it means listening to my husband rather than reading or going to sleep. I stopped harping about who is going to take the garbage out. Nagging will take all the romance and fun out of your marriage. My husband likes to know that I think about him when he is not around. Little acts of kindness helps and keeps that spark going. The way I respond to my husband can kill the romantic mood. I really do try to think before I speak.

I also look for ways to serve my husband, not be served. These things I'm mentioning go both ways.

Keep the "FUN" in your marriage. Be silly. Write each other notes or poems, buy little gifts, call just to say I love you, give many hugs and kisses, and consistently encourage each other. A fellow my husband works with divorced his wife after many years of marriage. My husband asked him why? He said, "I wasn't having fun any more". I'm not saying run out and get a divorce if your not having fun. What I am saying is get that fun back in your marriage.

My husband and I have a daily sharing time. We get up early before my husband leaves for work (15 minutes) and just talk. We laugh together, mainly because my eye-balls are hardly open when he wakes me at 5:00 a.m. it is still a time we cherish.

Finally, keep God at the center of your marriage. Read Scripture together. Talk about how God has answered your prayers. How God is working in each of your lives, your families, and how He is working in your marriage. We also like to discuss what we learned from our Pastor's sermon on Sunday. It keeps us close and the conversations flowing.


Jim said...

A very nice post, Lori. I think the things you recommend would help us and a lot of others a lot.
Marriage takes work, I remember that sometimes.
Our together time is a 8:00 in the morning when Mrs. Jim brings me coffee if I'm still sleeping. Remember, we are retired.
But lately I get up pretty early and let her sleep. I make the coffee and warm her cup. If she isn't up by eight I check to see if she WANTS to get up.

Sometimes at night she shares her devotional with me. Guess if you gave a test we would fail. I'll let you know if we get a divorce. :-)

Greg C said...

Wonderful post Loir. My wife and I had a similar conversation last night discussing how fortunate we are that we get along so well and don't fight or argue like many of our friends. We simply let the little things go and talk talk talk. We are trying to pass this along to our children even though our parents were lacking in this area. We also talk with our children and keep them informed. Occasionally I have to say, mom and I need some time alone, just to get a break. I think they understand.

Denise said...

Such a great, and very truthful post dear. May God sweetly bless your marriage.

Heather said...

What a great post! I was blessed. Thank you!

Llama Momma said...

Great advice!

Amel's Realm said...

I LOVE getting tips and reading other people's experiences, esp. if they've been married a long time already he he he...;-D

GREAT post, Lori!!!

Connie Marie said...

I can see in your write that you two work at your relationship, something we all have to learn to keep up on. Thanks for your sharing.

Sharon Brumfield said...

This was very inspirational!
I love the way ya'll spend so much time talking. Something that my man and I could really use some help with. We are together a lot...but not a lot of talking. He is not a big talker.
Thanks for sharing these ideas.

jel said...

hi Lori,
thank you for stoping by,

hope ya good

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Great post!

e-Mom said...

I always love to hear about your marriage. You two are such lovebirds. Well done!

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Lori.


e-Mom :~D

Neva said...

love it all---
My husband and I have the most fun--now that the kids are gone, we have nerf guns and adult size hoppity hops and we are trying to find a human hamster ball because we think it would be blast to roll each other around the church lot.
Being a full time social worker married to a full time minister, we need some fun and when I see that gorgeous man laughing like a little boy, I fall in love with him all over again.


Peculiar said...

Lori, thanks for stopping by my place. I agree with you, I certainly do have a fabulous husband, but it is only because of his surrendering and the grace of God. He obviously isn't perfect, but God perfects him all of the time. Your husband, from your description, certainly sounds like a man after your and God's own heart, not necessarily in that order. Praise God for your husband and mine.

I love the points you made. I can cook well, but don't spend a lot of time in the kitchen, so this usually isn't our romantic spot, but I can see how it can be for some people. Like you guys, we do talk about the sermon at church, we share our opinions (we usually agree), I used to leave notes in his lunch bag (I should try doing that again. He loved it), and we do go out to run errands together without the kids. We love that little simple act of purposely being together. We don't go out on dates much either, because usually "life" takes over, the kids take over, or we haven't thought out something to do that's inexpensive or free because our budget won't allow us to spend money on more costly dates. We love being together at home and playing games also.

Thanks for this post. I could just see you and your husband going about your day and business, thinking on each other. This is inspiring.

~michelle pendergrass said...

A lot of our romance is found spending time together cooking too. I'm his perfect sous chef. :)

Lori said...


I don't think you and Mrs. Jim would fail at all. I think you could show us all a thing or two about romance and many other thing having to do with a healthy marriage.



Lori said...


It sounds like you have a lovely marriage with some great kids.

Keep the fires burning. LOL!


Lori said...

denise,Heather, llama,

Thank you! I enjoy writing about my husband. He is a great guy.


Lori said...


You are so cute! You are so easily discipled.

Love Ya,


Lori said...

Connie Marie,

We have come a long way! We had many years were I really didn't know if we would last another minute. God is good and we both grew in Him. That is what really helped us work things out.


Lori said...


We did have to learn to communicate. Keeps us going.


Lori said...


I'll try to be back more often now that the kids are in school. I love all of your pictures.


Lori said...


I'll try to be back more often now that the kids are in school. I love all of your pictures.


Lori said...


Thank you!


Thanks for hosting marriage Monday. My boy left for his seven month deployment on Monday. This was just the distraction I needed.



Lori said...


Oh goodness, you make me laugh. I can just see the two of you now. LOL!! I'll keep all of your ideas in mind.



Thank you for your sweet comment. I love visiting new bloggers. Marriage Monday gets me out of my comfort zone of just visit the handful of bloggers that I visit now.

I'll be back,


Lori said...


Your comment was cute! You made me smile.

Keep cooking,


MiPa said...

"I think another part to keeping your marriage alive is giving up those little things that don't really matter."
I agree with this, and think it is one of the hardest things to learn in marriage. Bless you for sharing!

Karla @ Ramblin' Roads said...

Great post! We, too, have been married over 22 years... coming up on 23 in November actually! And have learned a lot of the same things you mentioned. Isn't it fun to have a happy marriage?