Tuesday, September 16, 2008

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and
point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,

ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has
Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling
Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The
Prophecy".

8. Don't use any

punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a
serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical
Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend
Their Party Because
You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,
Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,
Yelling
"Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are
Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .. SMILE>>

7 comments:

Amel's Realm said...

LOL LOL LOL!!! Hubby says I'm a crazy woman and I also say that he's crazy. We do and say crazy stuff but only when we're all alone hi hi hi...

SJ said...

Hilarious! I'm seriously going to try a few of these. I love the zoo one and the inbox one! Although, I did get a good report from Dr. C. about you today in my inbox, so maybe that's not such a good idea :)

Greg C said...

Great ones Lori. I am just insane enough to do some of them. They are just what this place needs.

This guy I work with will offer left over food at lunch to everyone. If someone takes it, he then says "my family wouldn't eat it because it was expired" I think he isn't kidding though.

Anonymous said...

MOM... this is hilarious!!!

Made my day... and all my co-workers day too!!!

Love you! Becca

Lori said...

Now, if you all really try these, you must let me know. I so want to try a few myself.

Lori said...

Hey Bec,

I'm glad you all enjoyed this little funny. Now see, I'm funny. I tried to get you to read my blog when you lived at home. LOL!!

I love and miss you,

Mom

groovyoldlady said...

*snort* These are hilarious. I laughed so hard I cried!

Now I'm off to find some mosquito netting!