Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A little about Me
This is a picture of me and my handsome husband on our wedding day almost 22 years ago. I was 22 and my husband was just a baby at 19. We meant while working at McDonald's together. We were good friends for over a year, before we started dating. We dated on a dare, (I was a manager and was not suppose to date my employees) we were already friends, but it still seemed a little strange. It didn't take long and my husband proposed to me, the rest is history.
This picture is of Joshua (Our baby that died of SIDS at 3 months) my oldest son is holding Joshua (now almost 30) and my nephew (now 28).
We had a rough first year of marriage, but God gave us 5 more beautiful children after the death of our son. God gave me Joshua for three wonderful months. If I had it to do all over again, and
WI knew that I would only have him for such a short time, I would do it in a heart beat. He brought a lot of love into our lives. At the time of his death I was a new believer. I won't say I didn't go through some very trying times, trying to figure out why Joshua was taken from me. I grieved for many years. I finally gave the pain and sorrow over to the Lord. I looked to His word for the only comfort I could find.
My changing point came when I went to a group which consisted of parents that had lost children to some kind of death. We walked into the room and women were sobbing like they had just lost their children to death. It was a sight that will remain in my head forever. When we went around the room and introduced ourselves and explained why we were their, the woman that was really sobbing hard told us her son had died 20 years ago. At that point I knew I had to turn this over to God for healing. I could not mourn like this for 20 years, it would eat me alive. I would have died an old bitter woman, hating God and life itself.
God got a hold of my heart at that very moment. I could see that God gave me my son to love and enjoy for three wonderful months. I will never regret that time in my life. I look back on it now knowing that I am the person I am today because of that little boy God gave me. Every year on his birthday I get his baby book out. I look through all the pictures we have of him. I sit and wonder what it would be like if he hadn't died. What he would be doing right now. Would he have been a football player like his brother or a wrestling like his dad and brothers. I am only human, but I don't feel sorry for myself or look at God in a bad light. I give thanks to God for allowing me to have the joy that is in my heart today, when I think of how that little boy changed my life.
Living for the simple things in life: Joshua's Story
When I get low or just have a bad day. I like to remember the blessings that I do have and how God has worked through my life to bring me to the place, that I'm at today.