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I think one of the top problems in a marriage is the wife showing respect to her husband. Over and over I hear how woman talk to there husband's and disrepect them. Even belittle them to others! I believe if we want a healthy marriage, we need to set aside selfishness and live for the other person. Do I always feel like sacrificing for my husband? No, I would love to be selfish at times and only think about myself. That is not really even what I want to write about today. I want to write about the way I hear woman talk to their husband's or disrespect their husband's.
These are a few things I have picked up from from the Scriptures today.
Characteristics of love listed in I Corinthians 13.
Not provoked--not responding in irritation but self-control realizing God will not give more then we can bear
Not taking into account a wrong suffered--not bringing up past failings but instead forgiving and forgetting as Christ has forgiven us 1
Not rejoicing in unrighteousness but rejoicing in truth --not enticing her husband to sin but "stimulating to love and good deeds"
Bearing all things -- sacrificing self and committing to your husband
Believing all things -- believing the best and holding to God's promise "that all things work together for good..."
Hoping all things -- having firm hope in God and trusting "all things" to the hand of God including her husband and marriage and
Enduring all things -- seeing trials as opportunity to become more like the Lord Jesus Christ We saw that these things do not come naturally to us but instead we must diligently work at "putting on love" in our lives.
Let’s see what the wife is being called to.
1. The wife is responsible to take action. Some people subtly criticize the command to submission by wrongly interpreting it to mean ‘to lose motivation and sense of purpose.’ It is the other way around. She is to be full of attention and action. She is alert respecting her husband. At the end of the age every wife will be asked to whether she respected her husband. Responsibility means accountability. The husband will be responsible for how the home went because he is head. But she will be responsible for how she respected her husband.
2. The wife might seem surprised at her prime focus to fear or respect her husband. She might wonder how can a great marriage be built on a command to fear her husband. Part of the confusion is what fear means. Part of it is what the world nonstop keeps saying.
The Chinese have two words for fear. One is afraid and the other is ‘in awe of.’ I think the later sense is much more proper. The wife needs to realize no matter how foolish her husband is and how much he focuses on fulfilling his own lusts, he is still her head. Marriage defines the context in which men and women grow. If a women does well in this area, then she will do well in lots of areas. If she does poorly here, then she will have trouble with all things.
I pray this will touch your heart if you find that you are a woman who doesn't "respect your husband". I fear too many women would call themselves respectful but if their husbands were asked to honestly answer this questions, they would have to deny her reverence. Perhaps we are submissive but not reverent or respectful. Even a child can obey because he knows the consequences of disobedience but show by attitudes and actions that it was not from a heart of love. Do we submit begrudgingly or do we lovingly submit showing respect and honor for the position God has given our husbands as head of the home?
Have you ever made your husband feel foolish? I want to write down an example that I heard of how we can make our husband's feel foolish. There was a lady that told of a time when her husband was getting ready to go to church planning to wear a shirt and tie that didn't match. She sarcastically said, "You're not going to wear that tie are you?" He told her he was and wanted to know what was wrong with it. Upon reflection later she realized that her question had made him feel foolish because obviously, he had planned to wear that outfit.
The wife is to "see to it that she respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). She should be a "helper suitable" (Genesis 2:20) offering helpful suggestions instead of "put-downs". Scripture gives numerous examples of wives showing disrepect to their husband. Job's wife told him to "curse God and die!" (Job 2:9) instead of supporting him in his time of trial. When she saw King David dancing for joy, his wife, Michal, made fun of David instead of rejoicing with him that the ark was being returned to Jerusalem.
But Scripture does also give us some postive examples of those who did show respect to their husbands. Bathsheba "bowed with her face to the ground, and prostrated herself before the king and said, May my lord king David live forever" (I Kings 1:31) Queen Esther approached King Ahasuerus with respect saying "...if it please the king...my petition and my request is if I have found favor in the King's sight..." (Esther 5:4). Sarah is commended in I Peter 3:6 for she "obeyed Abraham, calling him lord" . We are told in this same passage that we can be like the holy women of old by practicing this same attitude. Ephesians 5:33 says "....let the wife see to it that she respects her husband." It doesn't matter that this goes completely contrary to what is being taught by the world today. This is what God requires of us.
Here are five Biblical Principles for Respecting our Husbands.
1. The wife is to respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33
2. The wife is to respect his position. I Corinthians 11:3
3. The wife is to act in a respectful manner. Proverbs 31:23
4. The wife is to reprove her husband respectfully. Colossians 4:6
5. The wife who is disrespectful may experience severe consequences. Galatians 6:1
I challenge you to listen to the tone of voice you answer your husband in, listen to how you talk about your husband to others, listen to the words you use to respond to his questions, even evaluate your body language.
Are we showing true "reverence' for our husbands or deceiving ourselves?
How do others evaluate the relationship they see between us and our husbands?
Can we repair the damage done by our disrespectful attitudes in the past?
What are some practical things we can do to show our husbands respect?
I hope we will all honestly search our hearts and see if we are obeying God's command to respect our husbands.
Love in Christ,